Friday, May 10, 2013
Fat Mike's Famous stuffed shells and sauce.
For the first time in my life I made stuffed shells. I basically just threw together what I had in the house, and this is the recipe:
(once I finish the cooking I'll post a picture of the finished meal)
Shells-
half a box of big shells
half a pound of beef
8oz of ricotta cheese
chives to taste
american cheese (this is nearly a crime, but it was all i had, i only used half a slice for 9 shells)
Sauce-
Four tomatoes
6 sugar packets sugar
oregano to taste
parm to taste- freshly shaved
chives to taste
yellow onion and pepper saute'd first in butter
salt and a combination of coarse grind pepper and regular pepper to taste
tons of freshly shaved parm on top
(once I finish the cooking I'll post a picture of the finished meal)
Shells-
half a box of big shells
half a pound of beef
8oz of ricotta cheese
chives to taste
american cheese (this is nearly a crime, but it was all i had, i only used half a slice for 9 shells)
Sauce-
Four tomatoes
6 sugar packets sugar
oregano to taste
parm to taste- freshly shaved
chives to taste
yellow onion and pepper saute'd first in butter
salt and a combination of coarse grind pepper and regular pepper to taste
tons of freshly shaved parm on top
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Friday, May 3, 2013
F.O.H.
FOH means front of house, BOH is back of house, and HOH is head of house.
So I'm HoH twice a week, and BoH the rest of the time. BOH hates the FOH. I'm going to go through all of the foh positions and describe to you why we hate them.
The Host-
The host is a failed server or someone who wants to be a server. The host doesn't know how to stagger tables...staggering tables is the only part of their job that we care about. On Saturday night these assholes will seat every single table within 1 minute of each other. This causes a flood of tickets to the kitchen at once. Last week I watched the wheel print off 22 tickets in a row. There were only like 10 servers...the host sucks.
Server-
The server is like a stupid little kid with vanity problems. They can't get tickets right, they can't describe steak temps to guests, and they will ask you for random things no matter how busy you are. Occasionally there is an awesome flirty (but not too flirty) server who doesn't suck- this person should be your friend. Fuck the rest of them. They make the same money in less hours, they are significantly less intelligent than everyone else, This causes you to hate them even more. They are usually in college, which causes them to like themselves even more. I got three people in the back who were servers and have college degrees, and they make less money than I do. Fuck servers.
Bartender-
This person needs to like you and be your friend. If your job gives out free beer- ALWAYS tip on the free beer. This will come in handy when you need to fill a growler with a more expensive beer (double ipa) and you've tipped every beer for months. It makes everyone happier. Be friends with the bartenders, give special love to this food.
Expo-
If the expo isn't your friend, you're in the wrong business.
FoH Manager-
You should rarely see this person. Usually stays as far away from BOH business as possible. The good ones anyway.
So I'm HoH twice a week, and BoH the rest of the time. BOH hates the FOH. I'm going to go through all of the foh positions and describe to you why we hate them.
The Host-
The host is a failed server or someone who wants to be a server. The host doesn't know how to stagger tables...staggering tables is the only part of their job that we care about. On Saturday night these assholes will seat every single table within 1 minute of each other. This causes a flood of tickets to the kitchen at once. Last week I watched the wheel print off 22 tickets in a row. There were only like 10 servers...the host sucks.
Server-
The server is like a stupid little kid with vanity problems. They can't get tickets right, they can't describe steak temps to guests, and they will ask you for random things no matter how busy you are. Occasionally there is an awesome flirty (but not too flirty) server who doesn't suck- this person should be your friend. Fuck the rest of them. They make the same money in less hours, they are significantly less intelligent than everyone else, This causes you to hate them even more. They are usually in college, which causes them to like themselves even more. I got three people in the back who were servers and have college degrees, and they make less money than I do. Fuck servers.
Bartender-
This person needs to like you and be your friend. If your job gives out free beer- ALWAYS tip on the free beer. This will come in handy when you need to fill a growler with a more expensive beer (double ipa) and you've tipped every beer for months. It makes everyone happier. Be friends with the bartenders, give special love to this food.
Expo-
If the expo isn't your friend, you're in the wrong business.
FoH Manager-
You should rarely see this person. Usually stays as far away from BOH business as possible. The good ones anyway.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
about the author
My name is Mike, I go by Fat Mike. I used to be fat, but now I'm either planning to get fat again or change my nickname.
I'm a 29 year old male, heavy drinker, moved to Colorado to smoke pot. I'm married to a super hot young lady. I've spent the last 15 years in F&B (except the three years I took off to manage a hotel front desk in Asheville, NC). I've done mostly seasonal work. Seasonal workers (or parkies) travel to and from resorts or national parks working in hotels or kitchens for 'seasons.' In the Summer you work a national park and the company gives you food and housing for 6 months, then you move to a ski resort for the Winter- and they give you food and housing.
This is certainly not my first restaurant, not even my first corp restaurant. This is my first kitchen where I routinely feel like the work is too hard, and that the corp gods allow us to by plowed with free alcohol after our shift. I have an outstanding offer to manage Food and Beverage for a Xanterra property in Estes Park, CO. This position starts May 16th- and I need to decide right now what I'm going to do. My current restaurant (which this blog is basically about) is training me for kitchen super...but I seriously need more money. I am hoping that today I get the nerve to demand more money. The Xanterra job will be so much easier, but personally, I like a challenge. And I'm turning 30 this July with no education and no other prospects. I'm done being a parkie, my wife doesn't want to be a parkie, and frankly- I need a transfer to Boulder, CO. This company can make that happen, but first I need them to pay me more.
I'm from Ohio, and I spent my only other significant amount of time in North Carolina. I'm basically a Southerner and I do have a terrible accent. Especially in Colorado. I moved to Colorado with my wife and we did seasonal work, saved up and moved to Greeley, CO. Greeley is where white trash and Mexicans live so they can work for the white people in Loveland, CO. I know that seemed offensive, but I embrace my white trash roots- it's just part of who I am. I also once quit a wonderful job over the treatment of immigrant Latinos. I'm wing nut liberal, but my white trash roots cause me to say terribly offensive things. You'll get use to that.
I smoke a ton of pot. For those of you who still live in states where marijuana is illegal- you can't even imagine how awesome things are out here. My wife and I got our red cards as soon as we arrived and got I.D.'s. We go into a store and we buy pot- for like 150 an ounce. Really, really good pot grown in soil in Colorado. I grew illegally for many years, but now it's so cheap to buy that I no longer need to grow. You can talk about marijuana at work without being fired or drug tested, because no one here gives a shit. Need a smoke break? Good...go smoke a doobie, no one gives a fuck. This is the promised land for all stoners...it makes it a lot easier for me to survive the line dog life with my doobies in tact, and it doesn't hurt that I work in a brewery where the bosses love giving up the free beer.
So that's it, we'll get into detail about the restaurant and do some pictures and blah blah....
I'm a 29 year old male, heavy drinker, moved to Colorado to smoke pot. I'm married to a super hot young lady. I've spent the last 15 years in F&B (except the three years I took off to manage a hotel front desk in Asheville, NC). I've done mostly seasonal work. Seasonal workers (or parkies) travel to and from resorts or national parks working in hotels or kitchens for 'seasons.' In the Summer you work a national park and the company gives you food and housing for 6 months, then you move to a ski resort for the Winter- and they give you food and housing.
This is certainly not my first restaurant, not even my first corp restaurant. This is my first kitchen where I routinely feel like the work is too hard, and that the corp gods allow us to by plowed with free alcohol after our shift. I have an outstanding offer to manage Food and Beverage for a Xanterra property in Estes Park, CO. This position starts May 16th- and I need to decide right now what I'm going to do. My current restaurant (which this blog is basically about) is training me for kitchen super...but I seriously need more money. I am hoping that today I get the nerve to demand more money. The Xanterra job will be so much easier, but personally, I like a challenge. And I'm turning 30 this July with no education and no other prospects. I'm done being a parkie, my wife doesn't want to be a parkie, and frankly- I need a transfer to Boulder, CO. This company can make that happen, but first I need them to pay me more.
I'm from Ohio, and I spent my only other significant amount of time in North Carolina. I'm basically a Southerner and I do have a terrible accent. Especially in Colorado. I moved to Colorado with my wife and we did seasonal work, saved up and moved to Greeley, CO. Greeley is where white trash and Mexicans live so they can work for the white people in Loveland, CO. I know that seemed offensive, but I embrace my white trash roots- it's just part of who I am. I also once quit a wonderful job over the treatment of immigrant Latinos. I'm wing nut liberal, but my white trash roots cause me to say terribly offensive things. You'll get use to that.
I smoke a ton of pot. For those of you who still live in states where marijuana is illegal- you can't even imagine how awesome things are out here. My wife and I got our red cards as soon as we arrived and got I.D.'s. We go into a store and we buy pot- for like 150 an ounce. Really, really good pot grown in soil in Colorado. I grew illegally for many years, but now it's so cheap to buy that I no longer need to grow. You can talk about marijuana at work without being fired or drug tested, because no one here gives a shit. Need a smoke break? Good...go smoke a doobie, no one gives a fuck. This is the promised land for all stoners...it makes it a lot easier for me to survive the line dog life with my doobies in tact, and it doesn't hurt that I work in a brewery where the bosses love giving up the free beer.
So that's it, we'll get into detail about the restaurant and do some pictures and blah blah....
reading tickets.
I work the Wheel. This spot is usually reserved for the Sous Chef or Chef, but luckily for me the Corp. gods decided the Chef should be doing an 8/hr expo job. We use the term 'Chef'' to describe them very lightly, remembering we work in a Corp. kitchen and the gods who can't be seen make all of the food and beer decisions.
The Wheel is a place few people will tolerate. There are at least two people who have been at the job longer, who are perfectly capable- who refuse to run the wheel. The main reason I hate the wheel is that line cooks (who will now be referred to as dogs, which is fine because I am one of them) are fucking assholes. All of them. Most of them work two jobs, and I work the night shift- so most of them are on doubles and aren't happy. If it gets busy and I have to make a call to saute- 'side of mac walking in' - I should hear them say 'heard' or a similar snippet. But they don't, because they are dicks and they hate me. It's up to me to look at them, and decide whether they heard me. If they heard me and I call it again- they're even more mad. If I miss a call- it's the fucking world's end because now they have to 'fly' something to the window while they are working 10 other dishes.
When you're on the wheel- you are responsible for every fuck up. Servers are too stupid to understand that there are multiple stations on a grille line. Fry sold you the wrong app, but it's my fault because no server can see beyond the person facing them. Servers are your enemy, and they aren't very smart. The next blog will be the FOH (front of house) blog. The wheel sucks for a lot of different reasons- but the payoff should be bigger for working the station. I personally am being trained for Supervisor. This is because I proved that even though the wheel is impossible and no human should have to do it- I proved that I will accept any awful form of punishment they throw at me.
One big station I failed to mention is the prep. They take up the entire back of the kitchen, they play loud rap music all day long and they suck and they are rude. Fuck them. The aren't on the totem poll, because they fucking suck.
The Wheel is a place few people will tolerate. There are at least two people who have been at the job longer, who are perfectly capable- who refuse to run the wheel. The main reason I hate the wheel is that line cooks (who will now be referred to as dogs, which is fine because I am one of them) are fucking assholes. All of them. Most of them work two jobs, and I work the night shift- so most of them are on doubles and aren't happy. If it gets busy and I have to make a call to saute- 'side of mac walking in' - I should hear them say 'heard' or a similar snippet. But they don't, because they are dicks and they hate me. It's up to me to look at them, and decide whether they heard me. If they heard me and I call it again- they're even more mad. If I miss a call- it's the fucking world's end because now they have to 'fly' something to the window while they are working 10 other dishes.
When you're on the wheel- you are responsible for every fuck up. Servers are too stupid to understand that there are multiple stations on a grille line. Fry sold you the wrong app, but it's my fault because no server can see beyond the person facing them. Servers are your enemy, and they aren't very smart. The next blog will be the FOH (front of house) blog. The wheel sucks for a lot of different reasons- but the payoff should be bigger for working the station. I personally am being trained for Supervisor. This is because I proved that even though the wheel is impossible and no human should have to do it- I proved that I will accept any awful form of punishment they throw at me.
One big station I failed to mention is the prep. They take up the entire back of the kitchen, they play loud rap music all day long and they suck and they are rude. Fuck them. The aren't on the totem poll, because they fucking suck.
the line pt 1
Welcome to 'Line Dogs,' stories of a line cook's life on and off of the grille. First of all- I work at a big corp chain- one that will remain nameless. We'll do a couple of blogs to familiarize ourselves with me (Fat Mike) and the restaurant.
Let's go through the stations on the grille to familiarize ourselves with the line (we'll go from least important to most important)....
1) Pantry - Salads and desserts, this is the only station where saying 'I got my ass kicked today' might actually get your ass kicked.
2) Pizza- This is is Apps and pizza station- and the pizza guy is usually a girl or a guy being tested for toughness to move to another station. (That's not sexism from me- I call it like I see it)
3) Fry- Fry sucks. You have to filter the fryer grease very single night, and it has the most prep work of any station. On a Friday you have 4 hours worth of prep and 2 hours to do it in. Come in at 9, get slammed by 11. Finish your prep after your shift. The only plus of this filthy position is you end up getting more hours than most other stations if you milk it right.
2) Saute- Anything with pasta, and some other things like enchiladas and lobster tacos. Saute is a solitary station not for the weak at heart. Trying to time dishes to come out perfectly with broils erratic mess is sometimes very hard, and on the weekends you can expect a real ass raping.
1.5) Broiler- This is where the meats get cooked- this is the hardest job on the line. Learning the tricks can be difficult, but once you've got it- you've got it. I can look at a hamburger and tell you how it is cooked without seeing inside. Medium well has a slightly bloody oil layer on top- I don't even need to touch them to know. On Saturday when you've got 30 calls in the last 5 minutes, it's nice for everyone that the person working this station isn't a fuck up. Any other station can handle a fucking douchebag worker- but not this one. He/she sets the pace for the shift.
1) The Wheel- The wheel is named after a printer that sits directly in front of your face. The printer wheels out tickets from hell, sometimes nonstop. No one needs a break more than the fucking wheel printer. A ticket prints and you say- 'walking in....' following by whatever the ticket says. So 'walking in, two burgers - medium and medium well.' If you don't say walking in- no one can hear you, and nothing will be done.
Let's go through the stations on the grille to familiarize ourselves with the line (we'll go from least important to most important)....
1) Pantry - Salads and desserts, this is the only station where saying 'I got my ass kicked today' might actually get your ass kicked.
2) Pizza- This is is Apps and pizza station- and the pizza guy is usually a girl or a guy being tested for toughness to move to another station. (That's not sexism from me- I call it like I see it)
3) Fry- Fry sucks. You have to filter the fryer grease very single night, and it has the most prep work of any station. On a Friday you have 4 hours worth of prep and 2 hours to do it in. Come in at 9, get slammed by 11. Finish your prep after your shift. The only plus of this filthy position is you end up getting more hours than most other stations if you milk it right.
2) Saute- Anything with pasta, and some other things like enchiladas and lobster tacos. Saute is a solitary station not for the weak at heart. Trying to time dishes to come out perfectly with broils erratic mess is sometimes very hard, and on the weekends you can expect a real ass raping.
1.5) Broiler- This is where the meats get cooked- this is the hardest job on the line. Learning the tricks can be difficult, but once you've got it- you've got it. I can look at a hamburger and tell you how it is cooked without seeing inside. Medium well has a slightly bloody oil layer on top- I don't even need to touch them to know. On Saturday when you've got 30 calls in the last 5 minutes, it's nice for everyone that the person working this station isn't a fuck up. Any other station can handle a fucking douchebag worker- but not this one. He/she sets the pace for the shift.
1) The Wheel- The wheel is named after a printer that sits directly in front of your face. The printer wheels out tickets from hell, sometimes nonstop. No one needs a break more than the fucking wheel printer. A ticket prints and you say- 'walking in....' following by whatever the ticket says. So 'walking in, two burgers - medium and medium well.' If you don't say walking in- no one can hear you, and nothing will be done.
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